Do you even network?

Do You Even Network?

There is a put down joke in Weightlifting circles. Can you imagine how it feels when somebody puts you down for not being bulked up or looking buff in a tight tshirt after spending hours pumping iron in the gym. Or perhaps you do look good and they want to put you down anyway.

Hey Man…Do you Even Lift?

Some business people put as much time into networking their businesses as a bodybuilder does into pumping up his or her pectorals. The mantra is “No Pain No Gain” and there is a lot of pain in both pushing heavy weights and in networking.

 

The arena of networking is standing in hotel function rooms amid the plastic flowers and detritus of last weekend’s wedding party. The taste is biting into the stale crusts and the congealed grease of cold bacon sandwiches, washed down with lukewarm gritty coffee. You smile wanly at your nearest fellow business person and make polite small talk about the weather and traffic in the hope they will be interested in whatever you have to sell… or knows somebody who might be.  

If it your first time then you might be approached by the group’s networking leader who will inspect your name badge and pull up your reference on his mental rolodex. I was once approached. “Ooh an Orthopaedic Manufacturer’s supplier, we don’t have any of those.” Seeing as my company was in an ultimate niche market then that was hardly surprising. But being in a niche is lonely so enduring the gritty coffee was an attempt to meet business people in my area.

One event I went to was a chamber of commerce evening which had been taken over by a Networking organisation calling themselves a “chapter”. The very thought of belonging to a chapter put me off, too cultish for me. We all sat in thrall as the chapter leader explained in an Americanised sales patter how "You do not care about our businesses if you mind getting up at 6.30 every Wednesday morning to make contacts." That rankled.

Then the strategically scattered chapter members placed around the room stood up and gave their spiel.

“I’m a financial consultant and I want you to find me a prospect. I am looking for a medium sized property developer who needs finance from me…” Another a development manager for a law firm wanted to find a medium sized property developer who needs conveyancing work… A web developer who was looking for a medium sized property developer for a rental web site, etc, etc.

The idea was that you hand over all details of your contacts list to the group and they will do the same. Having been on the end of unsolicited calls from a similar group from a friend who had given my own details as Sales Director and therefore fair game for unsolicited calls for vehicle finance, graphic design, recruitment… I was perhaps a tad cynical.

I tentatively put up my own hand. “I have a friend who is a successful medium sized property developer.” I paused for the salivating effect…. “But if I gave out his name to all of you and you all call him I am not sure would he still be pleased to be my friend.” I sat down to nods from the non believers and an “hmm” from the chapter leader who swiftly moved on to the next hopefully more positive question.

In the next seat to me my neighbour whispered, “I wanted to ask that but I can’t my bank wouldn't like it.”

The meeting dispersed soon after and I never paid up to join the group and commit to getting up early every Wednesday morning. I obviously didn’t care enough.

That was a few years ago pre-credit crunch and a different more corporate time of my life. When I bought the hotel I went to tourism networking meetings and local groups and not able to keep my hand down volunteered my time and knowledge in a number of groups to the benefit of pushing the hotel. It worked and I became well known in the area. Even after finishing that stage I still am. 

The last breakfast event I went to was a carbon copy of one five years previous, the government, council and quango people looking at their watches to see how soon they could decently escape and the private business people being a bit flummoxed but keen to show their support to the organisers. The danish pastries were perhaps better and the morning if not enjoyable was survivable. To be fair it was fine and I made a couple of good contacts and raised my profile just a bit more. I gave some cards out for my book and people seemed interested. Who knows what will come of it?    

Networking does have a purpose and most business people do it unconsciously all the time but beware the fanatics who have bought into the religious fervour of their networking prowess. 

Looking at a specific new (non-literary) project I chose to contact a lady who boasted on all her website and literature of her networking skills, which I presumed would mean she would be “on it” with a positive proactive response. The initial reply took 4 weeks and my follow up query has still not been answered. 

I don't care if she didn't want to work with me but to ignore me has raised my ire and is bad manners. Perhaps in the modern world of instant communication I was deleted as insignificant. Perhaps if I was a better networker, or prepared to give the name of my business developer friend then my potential contact would have been more worthwhile.    

Now with a wry smile I am tempted to ask her in mock surprise, “Do you even network?” 

All the Best 

JRS 

www.jrsheridan.com