Mad Friday, Squaddies, Septics and Keeping Customers Safe

Mad Friday, Squaddies, Septics and Keeping Customers Safe

As a writer I am open to appreciating perverse events and occurrences and my work in nightclubs as a Door Supervisor/Bouncer affords me plenty of real life experience to draw on as inspiration  for my stories.

The creative processes are sometimes sidetracked for proper work and I sent my editor an end of year note of thanks for his patience in my delaying sending the next batch of chapters for editing. I told him that if I wrote in my novel’s plot what actually happened on the front door he would have put a red line through for lack of credibility.

Christmas is always a strange time on the doors and the week before Mad Friday, as we call the last day of work for most people before their festive holiday, is often the worst night of the year for trouble. People, both men and women come out for sometimes the only night and there is mayhem around town. Some are just drunk and stupid, others are aggressive and nasty, for one night feuds are resurrected and new hatreds forged, all in celebration of the season of goodwill.

A mild mannered mechanic or office clerk becomes the cage fighter of his wildest dreams. Cocky young buck gets put down by an old-headed stag, or the old stag tries to relive his manly status of 20 years before and gets put on his backside by someone younger, fitter and less drunk. Alcohol and drugs play their part but self-discipline goes out of the window and there is little class and sophistication to start with. Many a family Christmas has been wrecked by a stay in the cells for the eejit who reckoned they could fight the world, including the nice policeman who asked him to calm down… or her, gender is not really a barrier to aggression.

All this is watched and dealt with by those of us who work in nightclubs and as I teased one of my younger colleagues who had a night off, if you don’t work a mad Friday you can’t call yourself a proper bouncer. I worked Mad Friday and went to bed at about 5 AM and then was up again at 7 to catch the ferry to Ireland for a holiday on the Wild West Atlantic Coast. As we made it further West I recounted the lesser incidents of the night before to my wife. She kept her peace but I know she wonders why I enjoy the job dealing with ‘pricks and princesses’. As the next couple of days progressed with a peaceful calm environment, plenty of sleep and maybe a Guinness or two, my aggression levels drop and my tolerance levels returned to my normal relaxed self.

Last mad Friday we had plenty of incidents to add to my trove of writing anecdotes, marked in my head ‘for later use’. On the front door the ferrety guy on his phone who was barred for previous incidents and told the caller on the other end of the line that he would meet him after he had “a fight with the 2 bouncers” in front of him. I’m not small and my oppo standing next to me has half a foot on me in height and shoulder width. We sort of looked at each other with raised eyebrows as he allowed himself to be dragged off by his brother as though that was a moral victory. Or the big 50 year old man wearing a santa hat and a reindeer jumper who tried to bully a young colleague but wouldn’t stand up to me.  

They go with the cherished memories. Like the one of the young girl who when refused for fake ID told me that she “would commit suicide if all she did in life was be a security guard,” then wondered why I wouldn’t let her in when she tried to join the end of the queue just 5 minutes later. Every Door Supervisor is on the receiving end of that attitude and as I have said before if you take a backwards step then you might as well give up the keys to the safe and the chastity of the barmaids. 

Do I enjoy the job? Enjoy is perhaps not the right word but the job gets under the skin and when I had a break last summer I missed the camaraderie and the craic with the lads and girls I work with. Not all customers are horrible and in fact the vast majority have great fun and go home happy. My boss’s ethos is ‘here to keep you safe’, it says so on the back of my hi-viz jacket and we are indeed there to protect customers and staff of the venue and to keep them safe. If that means I have grief for refusing a potential troublemaker then so be it. If they bite with me for a simple question then what will they do to an unsuspecting punter inside and a fight inside the venue is much worse to deal with. If 5 people being refused a night stops 25 being involved in trouble then it is a better night than allowing the trouble to walk through the door and I have done my job and kept people safer than if I was not there.    

So back into the New Year and last Saturday night the queue is building along the side of the venue. It’s midnight and I am working the street and ushering to the far end of the line as punters stroll down from the town’s pubs and bars. Taxis are pulling up and I direct all newcomers down the line… its not rocket science.

A tall scruffy guy comes up and enquires in an American accent “Where’s the veteran’s line?”

My reply is “sorry we don’t have one but the queue is moving quickly and it will only take 5 minutes”.

He growls and swears at me and stamps off to the back of the queue. He is part of a small group of English youngsters in their early 20s who are following just behind. I take the decision that with his poor attitude then he is borderline to not being allowed in for trouble he might cause inside.

I approach him and as I normally do checked that if I had got his attitude wrong on first impression I would give him a second chance. His attitude is still poor and he deliberately ignores me trying to speak to him. I inform him and his friends that this gentleman would not be coming in. I then received an uproar of entitlement from his friends explaining that he was a veteran from America and I should be giving him special leeway because he had served. A floppy haired blonde lad asked if I was a veteran myself, as though that would have made a difference. The lone female of the group became agitated and wanted to give me a piece of her mind but was dissuaded by a couple more sensible lads and they left. I told the duty manager why I had refused the American and we both shrugged our shoulders at yet another ex-soldier turned away for being aggressive outside rather than us waiting for him to go in and kick off inside.

Job done yet the incident left a sour taste in my mouth. My first novel Splinter is about an ex Royal Marine and how he deals with life after his service. No, I am not a ‘veteran’. Although my childhood focus was joining the Royal Navy I never served in any of the forces. At 18 I went to Hong Kong planning to come back for entry interview a few months late but stayed in the then British colony for 2 years working in bars and nightclubs doing the doors. I tell youngsters starting with me now that at that age you can take on the world. Now I have learned to shake the proffered hand for the quieter life and put an end to a quarrel rather than escalate the argument. As happened with the man in the santa hat and reindeer jumper who thought my young colleague was not giving him the proper respect. I told the older man to grow up and act his age, I can do that in my 40s but wouldn’t have at 20 but that shows life’s lessons have been learnt.

       

In Hong Kong I saw all sorts of trouble from expat stockbrokers and bankers to Tourists, Triads and plenty of Servicemen from all nationalities. In an agreement with the bar owners, police and military authorities the Lan Kwai Fong bar area where I worked was out of bounds to the British soldiers from the garrison regiment. The garrison all knew it and with their short hair cuts and regional accent then they were pretty easy to spot. It kept the supposed bad behaviour of the lowly British Squaddies away from the nice people who were visiting our bars and making them drink in the rougher areas of Wan Chai and Tsim Tsa Tsui. After a drunken altercation with an American expat, which was hushed up, then we kept their officers out too.

I worked with a couple of lads from the garrison who were good doormen, If anybody asked they said they had special dispensation to do so but probably not. No badges and cash in hand in the supposed good old days. In a world of slang then squaddies for soldiers, matelots (pronounced ‘mattlows’) for sailors or Bootnecks for the Royal Marines were the terms bandied about. We let the Bootnecks in because they were better behaved and the Navy lads based at Tamar knew the score and we were on first name terms with the Gurkha officers who fitted smoothly into the expat world.

Bars are a business unlike any other and when visiting ships came into port then we usually let them in too. The British ships crew on shore would be ok up to a point. I threw out one big matelot for being over boisterous, the next day I played rugby against his ships team and looked behind me in a lineout to see him standing behind me. I expected a kicking but he told me that his mates had said I threw him out nicely and he had deserved it, we had a few drinks together after the game. The Australians were worse for trouble and we banned them at all times. I was at the wrong end of a shoeing from a New Zealand Infantry platoon when I intervened in a tussle with a local on the dancefloor.

Drink too much, get drunk, try to meet women, can’t meet women, drink some more then get into a fight. Perhaps that is unfair but young men full of testosterone on a ship or in barracks under rigid discipline then the pressure builds up and needs to be released when on shore. I can understand that and know it goes back to the days before Nelson and Wellington. War is a bloody business and training for war is boring.

…And then there were the Americans. One of the barmen was a cockney and called them charmingly ‘Septics’ after the rhyming slang for Septic Tank/Yank. It is a derogatory term of course but after trouble with all sorts of British and Commonwealth forces the Americans of the Pacific Fleet were a pleasure to deal with. They had a few drinks, bought drinks for the staff and the expats girls in the bar. If they didn’t meet a woman then they still had a good night. When the US Fleet was in town the American Military policemen with their snowdrop helmets patrolled in Jeeps and went in hard with night stick batons so yes the ‘Septics’ usually behaved.

I had been in Hong Kong nearly 2 years having a blast, selling crisps by day and working doors by night when Saddam Hussein invaded Kuwait. CNN showed the war building up and the aircraft carrier USS Nimitz with attendant warships sailed into town with Ten Thousand American Sailors and Marines convinced they were going into the biggest military action since D-Day and they were out to party hard. A long term resident, an old China hand told me it was like he remembered during the Vietnam War when Hong Kong was used as an R&R stopover from the front.

 Some of them thought they were going to die and I remember that weekend for the ‘Buzz’. There was a crush of men and women on the Dancefloor, I remember throwing out a drunken expat for complaining about the Americans talking to all the women. the beer pumps were on constant flow, the tills were ringing loudly and the good time girls I knew had a good time,

I have just written about the atmosphere of that time in a novella called “Dragon”, which I hope to publish shortly. That weekend was one of the formative experiences of my adult life. The Americans behaved, they spent a lot of money and they were almost all respectful of the job we did.

When the Septic “veteran” growled at me the other day then he didn’t show me the respect that I remembered from American servicemen nearly 25 years before. Perhaps I bridled at the insult to that memory. I sympathise with the “veteran” for his experiences of violence in Iraq or Afghanistan or wherever he served and how that must have affected his life. I know many from the forces who have fought away and seen images I can only imagine. I’ve worked doors with them and maybe after a few drinks they might open up, they want to be respected for a job well done. To a man they are quiet of their achievements and their experiences. If we can we let them in quickly, without ado and with a nod and a wink of appreciation.

I have met some aggrieved at the way they are treated by civilians and 2 years ago I was punched in the face by a wild eyed squaddie out with his father and uncle to celebrate his return from Afghanistan. We didn’t get him arrested in good faith that his dad would sort him out. It wasn’t his fault “he was just back from Afghan”.  

But its the same with every other customer who I deem to be unfit for entry into the venue. I make a decision to keep the majority of customers safe. The majority are civilians and like me have little comprehension of the horrors of war. We might have watched the news and the documentaries but we were not there. It is a fact of life that most do not care but neither did the public after Trafalgar or Waterloo.

I’m sorry sir, if we did not have a veteran’s line and yes I am a civilian but you are still not coming in.

As an aside on the same night there was a customer from when I ran the pub. He was a young squaddie going back to the war and at the end of his leave I gave him a good malt whisky to savour then next time he was in a foxhole and to remember to keep his head down. He necked it like a shot of tequila and grimaced. He is out of the army now but when he saw me on the door he was pleased to see me and told me he now appreciates and savours a good whisky, a Glen Morangie.

I let him in! 

JR Sheridan

www.jrsheridan.com

"Age shall not weary them nor the years condemn"

This is the week of Remembrance for the “fallen” of world wars and modern conflicts from the Gulf Wars to Afghanistan. On Sunday my daughter, who is in the Sea Cadets carried the standard and lowered it in tribute at her local parade.

As my daughter makes the first big choice in her life over which A levels to take I continue living a battened down life trying to write my books supplemented with security shifts. I have been wearing a poppy on my lapel so this last week I have thought much about the real heroes commemorated by the British Legion campaign. Young men and women who never had a chance to develop into maturity and to find their way through the character shaping trials and tribulations of life.

This was brought into a personal focus last year when we visited the grave of my wife's great uncle killed at the battle of Arras in 1917. The family connection made the headstone of Private Richard Clune of the Royal Field Artillery, born in Limerick, all the more poignant.

The ranks of white tombstones in just one French cemetery bore witness to the lost generation of the first world war. Perhaps with next year's centenary there will be a time to reflect on the unfulfilled potential of those who did not return from war.

Without enforced participation in wars and conflict I have had the opportunity to live a full life and to make my my own choices leading to mistakes and fulfillment. When contemporaries of my age would have been mobilised for war I was living in Hong Kong and having a blast. Playing rugby, selling crisps and working on the door of a dodgy night club in the then British colony’s Lan Kwai Fong Bar area. I was nineteen and working on the door of a club with a supposed 21 age limit, which was all part of my adventure.

The plan had been to go travelling for a couple of months before coming back to blighty and joining the Royal Navy. In the end I stayed for nearly two years and to my partial regret never did join the Services.

For part of my time there I was living in a shared flat in Discovery Bay on Lantau island, which was about an hour away by ferry from the skyscrapers of Central. The occasion I first remember wanting to write stories, was on the top deck of the slow Disco Bay ferry passing the iconic waterfront and out into Victoria Harbour. After a long shift, rounded off with a couple of beers, I caught the early morning ferry and passed the mighty aircraft carrier (I think it was the USS Midway) surrounded by buzzing military craft and escorts. It set me thinking and sowed the seeds of looking to writing as a future career .

The Midway and the rest of the fleet were in town on the way to the first Gulf War and there were ten thousand American sailors and Marines out on R&R. Lan Kwai Fong and my club was mad busy. Uniformed American Military Police with their snowdrop helmets and long nightstick batons were patrolling the streets.

Saddam Hussein’s forces had just invaded Kuwait and the American Pacific Fleet were going to give him a bloody nose. As far as the US Marines were concerned this was going to be their D-Day and some of them did not expect to live. They partied like there was no tomorrow and spent their money on having what could be their last good time. We had little trouble that weekend and in the end the Iraqis were easily defeated but I remember that experience and my immersion in what felt like a scene out of a Vietnam war movie.

After all this excitement the fictional character that developed in my head in 1990 was a young Royal Marine stationed in Hong Kong on anti smuggling patrol and his adventures dealing with Triads and loose women. My book would capture the sights, smells and atmosphere of what was to me the most exciting city in the world as much as explore the details of his career in the military. 

Apart from a few scribbled notes I was too busy living life to write all the story down but the idea stayed in my head. My life progressed at a fast pace and I returned to Liverpool, joined a business, bought a house, married and started a family. As time went by my thoughts kept returning to my Royal Marine character called ‘Dan Richards’ and every so often I sat down to write the first chapter of my book.

My first effort was about Dan on his fast pursuit craft chasing smugglers. Then a couple of years later another first chapter was based on an ex serviceman who was starting an import export business called ‘Richards Agencies’.

The writing urge never coincided with having the time and when I did have the opportunity to take time out to write in 2007 I ran headlong into running a hotel business. After a few months it became obvious that I was not a natural hotelier and should have stopped a bit longer to explore writing as a job option with money in my pocket.

In an effort to make sense of my rather daft lifestyle choice I started making notes for a book about the lessons learned in the hotel. When I escaped chastened and lighter in the pocket I continued to write that book. When I had poured my heart and soul into those pages I put the 120k word manuscript to one side.
Only then did I finally sit down to write a novel with my hero being an ex Royal Marine called Dan Richards.

I went back to my writing roots and the first section started off in Hong Kong and was meant to show Dan as a carefree young man. The rest of the story was an exploration of where that young man had ended up 20 years later, a battle hardened veteran of modern warfare with the mental and physical scars to prove it.

When I had finished writing the whole story it struck me that the first section was not hugely relevant to the rest of the plot and so in a dramatic gesture I cut it out, all twenty thousand words of it.

The manuscript went to my editor and after further rewrites I published my first novel,
    

Then thoroughly enjoying myself I embarked on writing Book 2 of Dan’s adventures, ‘Personal Space’. However that first Hong Kong section of Book 1 that I had surgically removed was still stored on my computer and its ghost was calling to me.

As an independent author I have to consider the sales and marketing aspects of my writing life. So I thought I would add some content to my portfolio by publishing the Hong Kong story as a prequel novella calling it ‘Dragon’. I took my eye off the ball with Book 2 and diverted my time to polishing up the old story that had been rattling around my head for so long.  

I thought it would be a quick easy win to boost content on my author platform. That is until I sent it to my editor. Editors take their time and although I knew there would be a certain amount of rewriting I was keen to press ahead and carry on with Book 2.  So while the edit was away I had fun sorting out my cover for Dragon.

Then reality struck, my editor liked the story but knowing the history pointed out that it was obviously an early work and on top of the rewrites, the story would be better developed into a full novel to cover the plot twists that I had chopped off to keep it brief. I wanted to move on quickly so it was hard advice to take.

When I contacted an experienced writer friend for advice she told me about William Faulkener’s phrase that “in writing you must kill your darlings.” That made sense and I have put the young Dan back in his box until I have time to relive his adventures again.  

The truth is that when I invented the twenty year old Dan he was my contemporary inhabiting a part of my life that I was experiencing at that time. Now my contemporary is the grizzled and damaged ex-sergeant that Dan was to become. I find I have more interest in the current Dan with all his problems rather than the callow youth he once was.  

As a writer my own story is deeper now and enriched with my own experiences. I have freedom and vitality to be creative and to write my own thoughts and when needed to make the choice to kill off my 'literary darlings'. But on this week of remembrance for the fallen and survivors of world war and modern conflicts I bear in mind those who have never had that chance. 

JRS 

www.jrsheridan.com

The Psychology of the "Put Down"

Freshers week is upon us at my local town’s University. Tonight as a Door Supervisor (the new term for bouncer) I start a week long stretch of late nights on the Door at the local nightclub I work in. Lots of young new students away from their parents will be making lifelong friendships and probably drinking too much.

Freshers Week

By the end of tonight my colleagues and I will be moaning that we are babysitting these kids barely out of nappies. They will be throwing up their pre-loaded cider and we will watch as they go off to make their first sexual mistakes as students. What they will not realise is that we will also be keeping them safe in our venue.There will be predators who look at these wide eyed and naïve young adults as fair game or fresh meat. Outside the club we watch them losing their new found sophistication and pairing up. As a father I hope against experience that they will be safe, although it is heartening that many do look after each other as they weave their way home. 

Sadly around the town some locals look at students as a menace to their self esteem and react accordingly. There will be threats of violence and intimidation will occur. The psychology of a certain type of local youth is that the students are parasites on their town and so they will be abusive and nasty. The university is a big employer in the area and generates thousands of jobs that spread to all areas of the local infrastructure but the locals will not see it like that.

Last year a talented male music student was attacked on the high street. His hand was badly damaged and his promising career threatened. Despite CCTV the attacker was not found. The student was not a threat but for his own reasons the local yob wanted to put that student down so that the student would be made to feel inferior to the yob. Note that the attack took place away from the police and bouncers like myself and that the attacker did not try to threaten me but the student. For months afterwards the student was scared to come out and we made a special effort to look after him and invite him into our club.    

Not every put down leads to violence so I wanted to look at the psychology behind the personality of the put down.  I'm a big guy and in a previous sales job the only people who have ever commented that I had put on weight were competitors that I had recently taken sales contracts from and I knew they were trying to put me down for their own self esteem. I smiled sweetly. 

On the door I receive a lot of threats when I, for whatever reason, won't let somebody into the nightclub. No matter what they say they still can't come in. I take the grief, don't bite back and smile sweetly. The outcome is that the night is calmer inside the venue and I've done a good job.

As a new writer I am enjoying the journey of writing and converting my thoughts into a readable story. After publishing my first novel “Splinter” 7 weeks ago I am waiting for my follow-up novella “Dragon” to go through the editing process.

I am hoping that the editor will not be too harsh with me but I know that whatever he comes back with will be constructive and worthwhile. It should be constructive because I am paying for his professional opinion. Whatever he says I will mull over and have a big warm glow at the compliments and a little sulk at his criticism. I found my editor when he was interviewed about editing on a podcast and I liked the cut of his jib. He was the first professional literary person that I had ever spoken to and he had the same accent as me so I thought he would understand my writing voice better than somebody from the Home Counties. 

When I summoned up the courage to contact the editor then all my years as a successful businessman were forgotten. I was just a very nervous new author who knew nothing about writing apart from I had written a story and I wanted others to read it. After several discussions I entrusted my manuscript to his electronic red pen and had no choice but to sit back and wait. I wasn’t sure if the promised timescale for completion would include weekends or just weekdays. I couldn’t ask because this person held my future in his hands and I wanted him to like my work and not rush through, angrily crossing out as he went.

   

In the end the manuscript came back, I took a deep breath, digested the criticism I had paid for, tucked away the compliments and started working towards publication. I submitted 95 thousand words for editing and the final book that I published is 75 thousand words, (which is 400 pages long but with a biggish font and easy to read layout).  That loss of 20,000 words is not the whole story because there was reworking, rewriting and pruning of tangents. I learnt a huge amount and the finished book is better for his input, as will be my future work, because of the lessons I learnt.

I respected that input because I was paying for it and he wasn't try to put me down for his own ulterior motive.

Feedback has been good and I have worried about all aspects of the book but have been pleased with the good reviews and the constructive comments. It is not a “perfect novel” but in the debate to say there is a perfect novel we start to see battle lines drawn and the debate becomes subjective and bloody as each side tries to put the other down.   

This week somebody has tried to put me down. Not about the content of my book, or the story, or my characterisation. They tried to put me down because I didn’t wait to find an agent or publisher. They say that my book should not have been published. I find this view protectionist and at least 5 years out of date. Having recently spoken to a traditionally published author who has hit the best selling lists and then found he has been shafted by his publisher then I am glad I have taken control to publish myself. 

After posting the bones of the story in a friendly author’s group I have since heard of similar comebacks from the world of academia. It seems many creative writing tutors for whatever their own reasons do not like self published books and give grief accordingly. I started a creative writing course 12 years ago and gave up halfway through. This was not because the tutor was rubbish but more that I felt that I would be better to spend the time sitting talking about writing actually sitting down to write.

In my mind writing is like rugby or soccer, I was taught the basics at school and the only way I will learn is while playing the game. I need boots and a ball in the same way a writer needs a pencil and a blank piece of paper to be filled. I no longer need to be told by a teacher what I can or can’t write about or to be put down for handing my homework in late. Some literary professionals seem to disagree and there is an emerging law of "inverse snobbery" that the more commercially successful an independent author is then the higher the level of animosity and the level of trying to put the other side down.

As far as I know there are no keys to the secret treasure of literary success and in this digital age then the Agents and Publishers are no longer the gatekeepers to the promised land. So what is the motivation behind the protectionism?  What is the psychology behind the put downs?  An image comes into my mind of the Wizard of Oz hiding behind his booming voice and the green curtain.

Behind the Wizard's green curtain 

These are exciting times for all authors and by the time the blood has dried on the bar room floor we will look back with derision at the protectionists who sneered at the lesser mortals who tried to write and self publish their book. Good writers will find readers, bad writers will not. 

If a reader doesn't like your creative work then that is one thing. But if somebody puts you down its always worth taking a bit of time to look at the psychology of why. As a fellow writer nicely suggested to me perhaps the creative writing "guru", who blogged against me self publishing was jealous that I held a physical book in my hand. I did joke that I had bought fish and chips for my wife with my first payment from Amazon and was therefore a paid author. Perhaps I should have been more sensitive to their feelings.  

For the next week on the nightclub door I will have people who I won’t let into the club and they will try to put me down. Locals and students together. Locals will threaten me violence and Students will tell me their father is a lawyer. If they offer me physical violence and if necessary I will (literally) put them down to the floor to protect myself, my colleagues and my customers. If they try to put me down verbally because I am old, bald, fat or all three then I will smile sweetly, which will annoy them even more. For their own reasons they are trying to steal my energy and I don’t care.

If a reader doesn’t like my book and gives me a bad review based on their thoughts then I will be sad. But if somebody who has not even read my book tries to put me down because I have self published then I will smile sweetly and carry on writing Book 2 and Book 3. 

James Sheridan

www.jrsheridan.com

'Facts of Life' - What's in a title?

As sales are ticking along nicely for 'Splinter' I am being asked why I have called the Dan Richards adventures the "Facts of Life" series. 

When I started writing the novel I needed a working title. As described in a previous blog I had the name 'Dan Richards' rattling around my head for 20 years and I had started 3 or 4 first chapters without a book name. With each attempt the creative juices dried up due to life's imperatives at the time rather than lack of a title. 

Last year I realised the non fiction book about hard lessons learnt at the hotel wasn't going anywhere and when I put it aside I was working on a pub door in a University Town. The more I dealt with young customers  both locals and students the more I thought how naive and innocent they were and that they still had a lot to learn about the 'Facts of Life'. As the story developed and Dan Richards dealt with local idiots in the plot he came across 'Facts of Life' issues. A main theme in the book is that a local thug who has seen nothing of the world is not a threat to a combat veteran however tough the young scrote thinks he is. However that doesn't mean that the young thug's arrogance and stupidity is not a threat. Again Facts of Life for young and old. 

After writing the first few chapters I thought I was happy with my work and sent away a synopsis under the title of "Facts of Life" to various literary agents who (fast or slow) universally rejected the story. This was a bit of a blow but spurred me on to finish the book and then to allow the story to settle. During the settling and review period the idea of the psychological 'splinter' seemed to dominate the book and I came round to the idea of "Splinter" as a title. 

I also realised that I had learnt my own 'Facts of Life' during the agent submission and rejection process. I still liked the title but thought it was a bigger theme than jut one book. There are too many books published for any single word title to be totally unique. So "Splinter: Book 1 of the Facts of Life Series" ticked lots of boxes for marketing the novel and promising for a series of future exciting adventures for readers to buy into emotionally.    

In terms of 'Facts of Life' lessons being learnt. I worked at a nightclub last week for the night of the A'Level results partying. The queue was long, the club was full and the atmosphere was good. There were lots of young people enjoying themselves excited at their results and the prospects of their bright futures. I wished them well and was pleased that they could still be innocent, naive and stupid in this age of online damnation and I felt old. There is a lot more grey in my newly grown literary beard these days and I must have looked ancient to the youngsters on their exciting night out. 

Drink was taken and with some from the dilated pupils of their eyes I am sure recreational drugs were too. We checked IDs all night and turned those away whose faces didn't match the photos. The attitude of most was fantastic but there were enough spoilt little princesses and arrogant hard man wannabe boys to keep us on our toes. I was confronted with a temper tantrum where the girl literally stamped her feet and screamed at me when I simply said "no" to her. A young lad tried to eyeball me to show how tough he was, so I didn't let him in. "Facts of life pal!" 

In a nightclub queue anywhere in the world, checking IDs is not just about age it is also about attitude. There are always excuses for the 'management to reserve right to refuse entry' even when faced with threats, especially when faced with threats. If the queue outside is run properly then the positive attitude of punters we do let in allows for a good night inside.  

There are plenty of 'Facts of Life' for my characters to learn and Dan Richards has plenty of more adventures ahead of him. 

Any examples of Facts of Life lessons learnt gratefully received. 

JRS  

PS. I now have a list of over 50 titles ready to use. The words behind them will come when I let them.

So you want to be a writer

The song from the Bugsy Malone musical comes into my head. “So you want to be a boxer, in the golden ring. So you want to be a boxer better do your thing. You better quit if you haven’t got it." That’s not bad from memory and I haven’t dared to look it up as it has been many years since I last saw the film. The song ends with Bugsy’s friend the down on his luck, never fought in a ring before, big guy knock out the champion. The song ends with “yep he’s got it! The song stuck in my head and has been playing because I want to be a writer and not a boxer. I have always had plenty of creative ideas but apart from business reports and presentations that I have written then nobody important has seen or appreciated my literary efforts.

Theme tune - So you want to be a boxer

That’s not quite true, my wife and daughter who had first read and “critiqued” my work were the most important people in my life, but you know what I mean. In my O’levels I was given 2 A grades for English but I failed my English A Level because I discovered the joys of adulthood and did not spend enough of my time  reviewing the works of Keats and reading Wuthering Heights for enjoyment, which makes me a terrible candidate to be a writer. Ten yeas after my A Level failures I attended a night school class in Creative Writing but halfway through the course decided I would be better spending my time actually writing rather than listenting to somebody else spouting on about it. There is a University close to me that teaches a well respected masters degree in Creative Writing but now I have actually written and published one book of fiction I want to write another one.